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Reply to an online Matrimonial from a Pakistani man:
Madam:
I am an young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a spoiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall [...]

Lisa, an Italian woman was extremely religious. When she was married, she refused to use contraception because she felt that birth control was going against God’s will. She and her husband had 17 kids. Lisa’s husband got sick and passed away.
As time went by, she moved on with her life and married another man. Again, [...]

During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese.
A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something… at least they would die laughing.
The navigator went down and said to [...]

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, the [...]

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn’t wanted to have sex with him for the past six months.
The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is.
The following day, the wife goes to the doctor’s office. The [...]

Nancy’s husband was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent her to the hardware store.
At the hardware store, Nancy saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Smith, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.
When Smith was finished, Nancy asked, “How [...]

 
TOP 10 REASONS FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX…..
10. LASTS FROM DAWN TILL DUSK
9. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SECRET HOLE
8. ALLOWED SEVERAL FISH DAILY
7. CAN CHOOSE THE LENGTH OF YOUR ROD
6. CAN FISH ANY TIME OF THE MONTH
5. YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT
4. ABLE TO TAKE A NAP WHILE YOU FISH
3. THE COST OF [...]

 
Q. What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A. A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

a guy goes to the pharmacist and says, “Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be hell of a party.”The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an [...]

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Man who stand on toilet high on pot. It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl! Man who jizz in cash register come into money. Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time. Man [...]